Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Why black people are not married? Who cares!!!

If I read another “study” looking at the state of why black people are not married or why black women are single or why black people are not keen on marrying across the colour line; I will hang myself with a shoe string!

Is that all we are as black people; husbands and wives. Don’t get me wrong I love the idea of marriage and respect it and would also love to be part of the institution one day. BUT I don’t think that whether or not I get married or when I do get married or to whom I get married too should be a study of sorts. So some smart person figures out why I’m not married by the age of 30…so what?! How does this change the fact that there is global warming, or crime, or the constant rise of the petrol price.

Are all the other races getting married at the "right" time and having the "right" amount of children? I wonder why are there not as many studies looking at our economical standing. Why are black people globally not inventing smart things like the iPad and finding cures to some illness?

A friend argues that we have entertainment queens like Beyonce and the Oprahs of this world BUT is that all we are…entertainers!
Just check out Destiny Mag’s 2012 Personal Wealth Report; their list of South Africa’s ten wealthiest women include only two black women; Judy Dlamini and Nhlanhla Mjoli-Mncube. I was happy that there are some dark faces in the list but unsatisfied that there are not more.
Someone ones said we live in a time where it’s uncool to be smart. And honestly I think it is true. We are caught up in the bling society and we are a very impatient bunch. And when women reach a certain age the pressure of marriage shows its head.

I’m all for getting married and having children but I am not keen on meditating on it. My theory is whilst I’m finding ways to build my career and actually work towards owning my career – Mr Husband will rock up and fit into my lifestyle. He too shall be ambitious and have dreams of his own. I will fit into his life as he does mine. We will raise our children to be creators and our marriage will not be based on what society demands of us.

Should I not meet Mr Husband my theory is that I will fill that gap with something else. Adopt a child or two, get a hobby…whatever!
All I’m saying is that black-relationships need not be something people meditate on. Some people out there are stuck in marriages they know they shouldn’t have gotten into – regardless of race. So can the New York Times and the Steve Harvey’s of this world find other things to write about!


  1. Finally someone picked the words right out of my month

  2. Right now my mind set is changing. In deed why worrying about the lasts,i mean I have all the time after I get my degrees and my small businesses. Thanks to this article, my dreams come first and the husband shall follow and if I don't get one there is out there to do than getting married.

  3. Well, the marriage and rich lists are just as useless as each other!! No point having even 9/10 rich women being black. We've seen that the rising number of rich black people does nothing for the growth in poor people. Mxm!

    1. This is true. We need to be solution minded. This is what matters. We need the rising number of rich black people to reflect for the poor. We can't be waiting on government to fix the pit-toilet issue that is killing a child a day. We can't wait for government to build the proper schools and decrease the number of children studying under trees in 2018. The problem with the rich lists is that it really doesn't help our people. The gap keeps increase. There goes a study worth reading. The more money we get, the further removed we are from the issues on the ground. P.S: Thanks for encouraging to get revive my blog. Loaded a new post.