He lied and lied and lied and lied! I knew he was lying but I stayed. Blamed it on love and wasted emotions on a man not deserving. Ultimately God got me out of there without a child or a disease.
But every now and then I look back and wonder why I stayed. I listen to stories now of abuse, betrayal, dishonesty, and wonder why they stay. Men and women of all shapes, sizes, education and race stay in bad unhealthy relationships for way too long.
I know there was a lesson to be learnt which I think I’ve learnt but in the first year I should have waved goodbye and kept moving.
But we go back. Is it fear? Is it their sweet tongues that lick the wounds? Is it a need for a return on investment?
The whole idea of a relationship seems all so sweet. You meet, you love and you grow old together. (In an ideal world)
I always heard of heartbreak as a kid and thought light of it. You sometimes go through a couple of relationships before you come across that one relationship that really shows you the meaning of a broken heart.
But this idea of love we hold on too. I sometimes think I stayed because of the idea of love. Now I look back and I wonder if I was simply foolish and refused to see what was – there was no love.
It was two people, who met, had a great season and it passed. What then followed was an over run into other seasons that were not meant for them.
But I ask how do we know that this is a relationship not worth fighting for?
I am a believer in letting go and after my last relationship – I live by letting go. A good friend of mine described this as “destructive”.
Oh well but this love thing has no straight answers.
I stayed because I believed in what we had. I left because I no longer believed in it. It stopped being about him or us – it was now about me.
I really don’t know what is next for me in the chart of love. I believe in love and some how understand why those abused, betrayed and lied too, stay.
When you still believe in the union – it’s not easy to just let go. When you still waiting for the return on investment – you keep thinking; what if I leave today and he/she changes. Relationships are what they are; no straight answers.
We love on hope.