Monday, January 21, 2013

I want that power-house type of love!

Is that too much to ask for: to have a house with two bulls running the show. There is a thinking that women should know their place (be submissive) and men are taught to run the place (bread-winners).  But times have changed.

Men and women have dreams, and everybody is fighting to make their dreams a reality.

Because of my energy…I’d love a man with a similar kind of drive and most importantly respect and support for my hustle.

I want a man who, when I bring work home, will make me that cup of coffee he knows I live on; a man who will read my work and give me constructive criticism, a man who will not only ask how my day was for the sake of it but genuinely care to know.

I want a man who understands if I’m happy making my dreams come true, he too will be happy. He must have dreams and I want to offer him the same kind of support that I’ll be getting.

The older I get I see my peers pack their dreams into a suitcase, forget about them and focus on motherhood and being wives (the few that do get married).  As happy as I am for them, I wonder; will they not one day resent their husbands or kids because they did a swap.

From what I've seen and heard; mothering little people is not easy, and the same can be said about maintaining a marriage. The na├»ve girl that still lives in me wants to believe that with the right amount of support - marriage and motherhood don’t have to be the end of the hustle.

Instead I’d love to believe that with the right amount of support – married women or those in serious relationships should have a greater drive to make their dreams come true. The reason being; they are not only doing it for themselves but for the magical creature that has supported their dreams and ambitions.

As I write this I’m thinking of Beyonce and Jay-Z, the Obamas and many other couples I've interviewed for True Love Magazine's now defunct “Black Love” page.

Right now it feels like this kind of support is the exception and not the norm…it should be the norm! I know this kind of love exists. And I will one day teach my daughter about it.

I’ll teach her that it starts with her! Don’t ask from someone that which you can’t do yourself! Don’t ask for support if you don’t give any. Don’t ask for wealth if you don’t have it. Don’t ask for loyalty if you can’t be loyal. Don’t ask for honesty if you yourself can’t tell the truth! If you want that power-house kind of love – be a power-house on your own.

Focus on your personal journey. Forget finding someone to complete you – attract a man who will compliment you!

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  1. You have just wowed me. I want that kind of love too.

  2. Thank you for reading X! Lets be that kind of love, attract that kind of love and nourish that kind of love!

  3. WOW I love this piece I don't want to pack my dreams in a suitcase because of marriage or children, I want to achieve all of them and be a powerhouse.

  4. Nice one Tokiso. We live in a world where women constantly have to fight for gender equity. Keep on inspiring others! Much love...I'll bookmark your blog. Kindly read mine as well...

    1. oh I just checked out your blog! Read one line and got excited. :-) Thank you for reading mine. You rock!

  5. that is the reason i am still single, i cant find a man who understands my drive to want to succeed , to push boundaries...